Hello there. I have some important news for you: a local former Housemate who lives near the House has spoken out. He is Jonty, who was on "Big Brother" in 2007. Never mind about him - it's MEEEEEE, Munkitty Tunkitty, hijacking his site (any of you who post on the Digital Spy "BB" forum will be familiar with MEEEEEE, always wrestling with Jonty for use of his terminal).

After all, I'm an ex-HM too, you know, and rather an important one.OK, what's the big human idiot known as Jonty been doing? Well he took me to the Embassy nightclub on Thursday. An event there had been run by Billi Bhatti, who was another human HM from 2007. Also there were Emily, Nicky and Gerry from the same year. While at the club a great big screen appeared and our old friend Davina McCall was on it waffling on about this year's new HMs. We watched them coming in (at least I did - the humans around me were busy dancing and drinking, particularly Jonty, who drank so much he fell over and had to carried out of the joint by a couple of NOCN-Level-2-trained-Door-Supervisors lol!).

I was most taken with new HM Luke, who wore a suit and looked like he had some brains - I could use him in my stockbroking business. Jonty liked Rebecca because he's a Cymrophile (and he likes Welsh people, too). I was laughing at "BB"'s twist - making Stephanie and Mario pretend to get married when they'd only just met and his real girlfriend was in the House looking on lol. That human twit Jonty was asked on radio who he thought would be up for eviction. He said Alexandra: he was assuming if you're jeered on the way in, you're first out (Anthony Hutton was jeered on his way in in 2005, Jonty, and he went on to win it so put that in your pipe and smoke it!)and that the fake "wedding" wouldn't be rumbled ergo the twelve people not in on the deception would be up. WOOOOOOUND! I could have told him they were smart enough not to fall for that load of baloney: Dennis, a self-proclaimed expert on, and lover of, fakery said "it was as fake as his fake tan" - love it! You don't pull the wool over that fellow's eyes! So I'm guessing the public will get to choose between the four deceivers... and my money's on Stephanie. She's done nothing wrong but THIS IS "BIG BROTHER" - YOU ARE LIVE ON CHANNEL 4. PLEASE DO NOT SWAEAR. The best to you all, my friends - Munkitty Tunkitty.